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Funny Text Messages

Old Jan 15, 2008 | 01:03 PM
  #1  
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Default Funny Text Messages

Well im a little bored waiting for my boss to give me work and I just recieved some pretty good texts ppl are forwarding around... if you know anymore post them up. (kinda like a joke thread i guess)

-Hey somebody told me that retards cant text and im trying to prove them wrong so text me back and lets show them *******

-I heard a robber broke into your house and gave you 2 choices: suck his dick or give him your phone??... I see you still have your phone

-How can you tell if your to drunk to drive?? When you swerve to miss a tree and notice its an air freshener
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Old Jan 15, 2008 | 04:59 PM
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lmao those are great, sending those asap
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Old Jan 15, 2008 | 06:11 PM
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..got this one from dozerdan this mornin

the best engine in the world is the *****, takes any size piston, self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and changes its own oil
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Old Jan 16, 2008 | 04:11 PM
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-I heard a robber broke into your house and gave you 2 choices: suck his dick or give him your phone??... I see you still have your phone

-How can you tell if your to drunk to drive?? When you swerve to miss a tree and notice its an air freshener

Those are really funny!
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Old Jan 16, 2008 | 04:49 PM
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What do Ohio state and Marijuana have in common?
They both get smoked in a bowl!
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Old Jan 16, 2008 | 05:28 PM
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Man talks to wife about lowering their cost of living.Man says learn to cook so we can fire the maid. Wife says learn to eat pu$$y so we can fire the gardener.

Ur so sexy you drive me insane, you f@@k me so hard im always in pain, ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber, oh fu&k sorry wrong number.

Beer $10. Bag of weed $20. Condoms $2.75. Finding out she sw@((ows, has no gag reflex Pricless. Screw mastercard, it pays to discover.
John

Last edited by Mangled03gmc; Jan 16, 2008 at 08:19 PM.
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Old Jan 17, 2008 | 12:17 AM
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LOL I have already sent out a few of those......

-Wife tells her husband "no sex tonight, I have a headache". He says "good I just sprinkled aspirin on my dick, you can take it orally or as a suppository".
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Old Jan 17, 2008 | 12:33 AM
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Definition of embarassment: Running into the wall with a boner and breaking your nose first! LMAO!!!
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Old Jan 17, 2008 | 01:15 AM
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-When I see you, I smile. When you talk, I'm speechless. When you walk, I stare..Well, what can I say...Retards amuse me. Ha ha.

-Friends=u laugh/I laugh...U cry/I cry..U fight/I fight.. U jump off a bridge/I get a boat n paddle n save your retarded ***.

-A hillbilly was ****** his sister and she started laughin. He asked whats so funny? She said u **** like dad. He says yeah thats what mom said.
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Old Jan 17, 2008 | 02:39 PM
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LMAO
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