Fastest samurai
Aug 26, 2011 | 10:02 AM
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From: Crystal Springs, MS
Fastest samurai
Our hero was happily driving along a western desert highway in his lifted and locked Samurai when, all of a sudden, the beastly little 4x4 just died. Perplexed, he pulled off to the shoulder, got out and lifted the hood.
Now, being a suspension wizard, but knowing nothing about motors, he just shrugged his shoulders and resolved to try to flag someone down.
After a short time, a dust cloud appeared on the horizon, immediately preceded by a bullet traveling at an extremely high rate of speed. A Dodge Viper was upon him in no time. He frantically waved his arms, but the bullet just screamed past. Disappointed, thinking that the driver had not seen him, he turned to slowly walk back to his ailing Samurai.
Arriving at the side of his Suzuki, he heard the squeal of tires and looked back to see the Viper returning in reverse. Out from the car climbed a long, lean individual, kind of a young Clint Eastwood of the spaghetti western days.
The owner of the Dodge offered to help the Samurai guy out by giving him a tow to the next town, about 20 miles down the road. Accepting graciously, our hero only requested that the Viper keep it below 40 mph, because Samurais, as we all know, are subject to spontaneous roll-overs at anything more than crawling velocities. Upon departure, the Dodge guy gave our comrade instructions to simply flash the headlights if he began to travel too fast. As they slowly pulled onto the road, our Samurai guy switched on his emergency flashers, not noticing that one side was not functioning.
Following along at tow rope length behind the Viper, Mr. Samurai then saw another dust cloud in his rear view. It was closing so fast on his 4x4 that he braced for a rear end collision. However, the Corvette driver got on the binders at the last instant and laughed at the scare he gave to our off-road enthusiast.
Only when pulling out to pass did the Chevy driver see the low slung Viper in front of the short but tall Samurai.
Now, sports car drivers being the species of animal that they are, simply cannot stand to be overtaken by another car. So, the Dodge guy slammed it into third and proclaimed, "We're off to the races". Our hero, realizing the situation, began frantically to flash his headlights, but to no avail. 70, 80, 90, 100 mph and climbing. Helpless, the Samurai guy valiantly gripped the steering wheel as the two maniacs screamed down the road, side by side...
With the speed still climbing, the three-car convoy reached the crest of a hill and broke down over the other side. "Uh oh," a radar trap. However, the drivers of the Viper and Corvette didn't even get off the gas and screamed past the cop at 130 mph!!!
The police officer jumped into his black and white, headed out in pursuit and radioed ahead for backup.
"Attention County Sheriff Smith. Attention Sheriff Smith. We've got a hell of a drag race out here on the Interstate. A Viper and a Corvette passed side by side through my radar at 130 miles an hour, with a Suzuki Samurai hot on their ***, signaling to let him pass!!!"
Now, being a suspension wizard, but knowing nothing about motors, he just shrugged his shoulders and resolved to try to flag someone down.
After a short time, a dust cloud appeared on the horizon, immediately preceded by a bullet traveling at an extremely high rate of speed. A Dodge Viper was upon him in no time. He frantically waved his arms, but the bullet just screamed past. Disappointed, thinking that the driver had not seen him, he turned to slowly walk back to his ailing Samurai.
Arriving at the side of his Suzuki, he heard the squeal of tires and looked back to see the Viper returning in reverse. Out from the car climbed a long, lean individual, kind of a young Clint Eastwood of the spaghetti western days.
The owner of the Dodge offered to help the Samurai guy out by giving him a tow to the next town, about 20 miles down the road. Accepting graciously, our hero only requested that the Viper keep it below 40 mph, because Samurais, as we all know, are subject to spontaneous roll-overs at anything more than crawling velocities. Upon departure, the Dodge guy gave our comrade instructions to simply flash the headlights if he began to travel too fast. As they slowly pulled onto the road, our Samurai guy switched on his emergency flashers, not noticing that one side was not functioning.
Following along at tow rope length behind the Viper, Mr. Samurai then saw another dust cloud in his rear view. It was closing so fast on his 4x4 that he braced for a rear end collision. However, the Corvette driver got on the binders at the last instant and laughed at the scare he gave to our off-road enthusiast.
Only when pulling out to pass did the Chevy driver see the low slung Viper in front of the short but tall Samurai.
Now, sports car drivers being the species of animal that they are, simply cannot stand to be overtaken by another car. So, the Dodge guy slammed it into third and proclaimed, "We're off to the races". Our hero, realizing the situation, began frantically to flash his headlights, but to no avail. 70, 80, 90, 100 mph and climbing. Helpless, the Samurai guy valiantly gripped the steering wheel as the two maniacs screamed down the road, side by side...
With the speed still climbing, the three-car convoy reached the crest of a hill and broke down over the other side. "Uh oh," a radar trap. However, the drivers of the Viper and Corvette didn't even get off the gas and screamed past the cop at 130 mph!!!
The police officer jumped into his black and white, headed out in pursuit and radioed ahead for backup.
"Attention County Sheriff Smith. Attention Sheriff Smith. We've got a hell of a drag race out here on the Interstate. A Viper and a Corvette passed side by side through my radar at 130 miles an hour, with a Suzuki Samurai hot on their ***, signaling to let him pass!!!"
That was great
