1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

Haha, those are pretty good. My uncle got pulled over once and the cop asked him "Why in the hell are driving 120 mph(I think it was 120)?", and then my uncle responded with "Because that's all she'll do.."

 

I actually got stopped once (remember Imin south La) and was told here give me your beer while you dig your liscense out.

Ive said a few of the others too, but I wouldnt advise trying it again.

 

thats some funny $hit

 

i have an uncle that did that also he got pulled over for doing 97 and the cop asked him why he was going so fast he said that it cuts of at 99

 

I heard that a guy got pulled over doing 110+mph and the cop says. "Man Ive been waiting for you all day."

To which the kid replied, "Hell, i got here as fast as I could..."

 

1 is not ok here anymore. Had open container law for a few years now.

 

I got pulled over once for going around someone after making a left turn on to a two lane road where it goes down to one lane after about 1/4 mile. Going around the person wasn't really a problem as there was two lanes but, I was in my Camaro so I nailed it and took off around them. I prolly hit 100mph before slowing down.

I see some crazy flashing lights way back coming up and was like "****". I just pulled over and waited for the cop. He comes walking up to the door and ask "How did you know to pull over and that I was coming for you".

I looked at the guy and said "After what I just did I knew you were coming for me."

The cop laughed and just told me to slow it down from now on.

He was one of the cool ones for sure.

 

when a cop asks, Can i see your drivers licence and registation? ask, Can i shoot your gun?

 

That's great.