A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

 

 

I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there!

 

I've told this one before, but its my all time favorite.
Remember when Loraina Bobbit cut off her husbands *****, and was driving around with it in her hand? Well there was a car behind her with a mother and her 7 year old daughter in it. When Loraina threw the ***** out the window, it hit the windshield of the following car! The little girl looked at her mother and said, "Mommy, what was that?" The mother said, "Oh nothing honey, that was just a bug". The little girl said, "Well that bug had a pretty big dick!"

 

lol

 

Good ones there guys LMAO!!!!!

 

good one

 

I've heard the first one before but the second one; damn....

Good stuff.

 

haha both of those are good ones!!

 

Damn, all the jokes were funny!! LMFAO!!!