Of course there is much debate about this among parents and child psychologists but I do disagree with the above statement.

While discipline IS NECESSARY I do not believe physical force is. A time-out in the crib or corner will get the SAME Results or better with much less trauma.

Again, I am no expert but I do have healthy, grown, well adjusted children.

I was whipped and I promised myself i will do better than what was done with me. I think I have and i am proud of my kid and how she has made herself who she is from the seedling her mother and i raised.

It is VERY important that both you and your wife agree on the type of discipline and that NEITHER one of you undermine the other's authority. That you will need to sit down and talk with her about. My wife (and then later X-wife) agreed to respect each other's decisions.

good luck, it's always an adventure!

 

to each his own, I agree there are different schools of parenting, and I think the most important things are

1. Avoiding excess
2. insuring the child understands why they were punished

the punishment itself is up for debate, and you need to find a punishment that fits the child as well as the parent.

consistency is the key in my opinion, I responded better to wanting to please my parents better than anything else up to a point in my life. I am back to that now. Nothing crushes me more than seeing that look of disapointment in my dad's eyes.

It's about figuring out your kid and using what works for them.

 

+1 Agree

 

I Have A 7 Year Old And A 2 Year Old. Both Are Boys. I Do Spank, But Not Hard And Just To Get There Attention. I Never Spanked Either One Until They Where 2. But My 7 Year Old Says He Hates The Talks. I Sit Him Down And We Discuss The Situation At Hand. And He Sais To Me One Day Dad Can I Just Have A Spanking And No Talk. Lol
My 2.5 Year Old, You Can Talk To Him Until Your Blue In The Face, But As Soon As I Say Im Getting My Belt Or Do You Want A Spanking He Staightens Right Up.
So I Think Each Kid Responds Differently To Punishment.
You Jsut Have To Figure Out What Works Best For Your Daughter.

 

Why would my wife be on anti-depressants? My daughter doesn't retaliate, she just hits or slaps out of nowhere. I don't undermind her decisions, I stick to what she says. Put it this way, when mommy says no, I say no. Usually I just say "no" with authority(not yelling) and she stops what she's doing. My wife will tell her no and if she keeps on, she will give her a soft smack on the hands. I know 13months is young, but she understands what she says and does. And as far as her touching my ****, it's a house just like everybody else's. We have a big screen TV(over 5ft tall) with buttons on the bottom, I can't move the electrical outlets[on my house or the babysitter's]. I don't think my wife will blame me for anything, but I understand what you're saying. Me and my wife are pretty much on the same page except I don't give her the little smack on the hand.

 

well this is a good one i do very little and never more than one one the butt and only with my hand but it would have to be for a damn good reason for me to do it most of the time it is when the kids think they are the adult and slap back after a little hand slap if you know what i mean other than that they have to go to bed early man does my son hate that.
to answer your ? no you are not a bad person (you suck j/j) their are many was to get a point across.

 

I don't know if spanking at 13 months is harmful, I guess it depends on your definition of spanking? A swat on the hand is not spanking imo. And anything over a few swats on the bottom is too much.

I don't have any kids yet, but I should have a little girl around the end of May.
Taking a look back at my childhood.. I was one of the luckiest kids alive. My parents were the best. We were and still are very close. My dad is my best friend.
When I was growing up my parents believed in spanking and time outs, as well as a few other disciplinary acts. I remember when I got spanked; I also remember what I did, and how I felt. I NEVER hated my parents (thought I said it once when I was mad, I still regret it). My mom ALWAS made sure I knew what I did wrong.
I just wanted to post so others could see the positive side of spanking.
Still love my parents, grew up to being a half descent adult... Strangely enough, my wife had a similar childhood.
+1 for spanking at the appropriate times....

This topic is taboo. so many want to protect children from child abuse. I understand that (especially reading about a few of your guy’s childhoods.) but I kills me when a person suspects child abuse and rips a good family apart.....

I remember hearing a story about a little girl while at day care, peed her pants. While cleaning the little girl up, the care person noticed some coloring on the child’s skin around her business (as my wife puts it). She called child services and the family got accused of child abuse. People lost there jobs, and kids. Come to find out, it was only the coloring on the underwear that would die the child’s skin when it got wet....Famliy destroyed...

 

That's exactly what my wife does, just a little swat on the hand. Maybe about as soft as you could flick with your pinky. She doesn't hit her hard at all. Just enough to get her attention. Usually Rochelle(my daughter) will ask in sign language "why did you hit me". And my wife will tell her why. Sometimes she'll come to me and tell me "mama" then in sign say hit me and I'll tell her next time listen to mommy or whatever the case was. I trust my wife's judgement, so when she spanks Rochelle, I know it's for good reason.
That's crazy how they tore that family apart. CPS was the opposite with me. I reported my parents one time after watching them double-team my younger brother. My mom held my brother down and my dad choked and punched him and slammed his head into the ground repeatedly. All that happened was that we had to go to family counseling, but my parents refused. And it was left at that....and I became the redheaded stepchild for the next 3 years until I moved away.
I think I still hold all that stuff against my parents. My dad was always too big to take on(to me atleast), he was 280pounds when he was on steroids. I used to tell myself, I'm gonna get buff oneday and come back and kick his ***. Now that I'm close to his size, all I really want to do is show him that I'm a better man/father than he was.

 

Sounds like you already are!