should i use some of the plug gel crap or whatever its called to keep moisture outs the boots?

 

Hard to say without seeing whats happening but if there is a crack then the spark will go to where ever it can so it could easily be jumping to the plug wires.

The dielectric silicone grease is there to increase the conductivity of the contacts as well as protect them from corrosion. You don't really "need" it but it is a good idea to have just a pinch on each connection.

 

I have put on more than one bad brand new distributor cap.

 

Same here, and just because they look fine doesnt mean that they are.