Im 28 and Im starting to hear a clock ticking..

 

My parents pay for a lot of my ****. I intend on doing the same for my kids.

I honestly have ZERO desire to ever have kids (speaking right now). But just to clear things up- if I did have one, it would take highest priority in my life.

My friends and I were talking about pre-nups and what we'd have in it. I said the kid is mine and they all looked at me like i'm crazy. No way I'm leaving my kid to grow up with a gold drigger as their primary guidance in life.

I really think too many parents are soft on their kids. They make threats like "if you dont do this, you dont get any christmas gifts tomorrow"
Are you really not going to give them christmas gifts? They know it too. And WHEN they dont do it, thats it. They learned they can walk all over you.

I saw my cousin and her husband tell their daughter "if you dont do this, you cant have xxxx," with "xxxx" being something reasonable (icecream? donut?). Anyway, she didn't do what she was supposed to and didn't get xxxxx but did get a talk about why she didn't get it and the consequences of choices she makes.

They say that parents have little influence on their kids decisions like doing drugs. Its true, to an extent. I've done meth-amphetamines, pain killers, alcohol and some other stuff, and once all at the same time. Basic stuff like pot too. Never did I think "what would mom say" but I never really went back to any of them more than once or twice because of the standards and goals I had for myself BECAUSE of my parents. The link between caring, good parents and good kids/kids that respect parents is entirely too strong to be coincidence.
9/10 coke heads, *****, losers etc have parents that dont pay much attention to their kids, think being an ultra strict parent is parenting or dont care about their kids. Also, parents with fucked morals have fucked kids.

Just my unexpierenced 2 about parenting.

 

It all goes back to day 1 when they are born...structure, consistancy, structure, consistancy, oh and did i mentioned structure and consistancy...I have 3 children, two daughters 18 & 16, and a stepson 7 that I consider my own since his worthless good for nothing piece of **** "biological father" doesn't have anything to do with him, who by the way couldn't even take the time to call him on Christmas.

I still remember, as if it was 5 mins ago, the fear, pride, happiness, and tears watching my 1st daughter being born. A part of me was being brought into this world...she was beautiful...I was shitting my pants. Hell I was only 19 and didn't have a clue how to be a parent, but was getting the crash course in a quick way. Watching her walk across the stage at graduation this summer rekindled those same feelings I had 18 years ago holding her for the first time.

Being a parent is tough to say the least. There are the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, finiancial problems, choking scares, colds, flus, terrible 2's, no "private time" because of being scared, thirsty, hungary, or whatever the reason is for them not wanting to go to bed. Then attitudes, I hate you, belly-button rings, like you don't know anything, like things are different now, uh, eveyone else has one. And finally to dad you were right, I am glad now you were strict with me, and my favorite dad I love you.

IMHO some of the issues with kids today are from the lack of much needed consistancy, structure, and discipline from those who are either too stupid, too lazy, or just plain ole' don't give a **** what their kids do. Then there are those that try to be their child's friend and go along with whatever just to make them happy, rather than have the ***** to stand up and be their damn parent.

There isn't a flow chart, social blueprint, or 12 step program on when/how to be a parent that is worth the paper it is written on. All of the career, financial, psychological, retirement, or whatever type planning that is for sale at the bookstores for all of the OCD/**** Retentive types doesn't make you a better Parent. Have kids when you are ready.
Oh and your not really considered a parent until you have 3 or more kids .

Here are some dating rules for those with daughters.


1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "Early"

6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my truck?

8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to Mistake the sound of your fart can bearing ricer car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

 

Now thats good stuff, I am saving that for later lol.. As I was reading that, I have a feeling im going to be the same way..

 

haha those are good!
I wouldn't worry about me though. 2 girls told me their parents WANTED her to date me after meeting me

I HATE to admit it, but parents are almost ALWAYS right about things like dating. A parents 1st impression of the bf or gf is usually dead nuts accurate.

 

My aunt and uncle(who have been married 20+yrs and no kids) always said me and my 4 sisters were all the birth control they needed.

 

hahahahaha, that's kinda funny, i've met some girls mom's that wanted to date me after meeting me....well...not actually date me...just do me........and they did....and it was fun......yeah i gotta go make some calls now

 

I laugh at parents when I ask them why they have kids and what it is that they are supposed to be teaching there kids....

I am 38 and have 2-6 1/2 yr old boys that tried to get out at 21 weeks and succeded at 28 weeks. I slept 6 nights out of the week at the hospital for 4 months. They were billed at $850K for the first 9 months of their life. I call them my million dollar miracles and never let them forget it. If I did not tell you the 2 minor problems they have you would never know what they went through. I would never trade them for anything in the world....

I always consider my job first and foremost to teach them how to make good choices and what the consiquences that THEY are going to pay for those choices. Tough love. You can not prevent a child from falling, you can teach him how to avoid it and possibly not break his neck. You can't keep the drugs out of his world, you can teach him what it can do to them and what it does to others. As your child gets older you hope that you have prepared them for the world or is that prepared the world for them?

A few of you already stated it perfectly, never make a threat that you will not follow up on. When you say, "If you do that one more time I will......" and do nothing you have not told your kid he can get away with it, you SHOWED HIM in your actions that you will do nothing. What good is a beating if you don't explain what a better choice was? What good is the words "I Love You" unless you show them in your actions??? And believe me when my kids say they don't want the bad consiquences from dad..

I am in no way the best parent in the world but it does start at home...

I had gone to the track a few times with my kids and I had said, "Racing is at the track." I picked up my kids in my new truck and peeled out from the light without even thinking about it. From the back in a chorus I hear, "RACING IS AT THE TRACK DAD!!" Proved to me that kids watch your actions more than your words......

They grow up faster than you want if you enjoy them...

 

Man that was some good stuff Okie

Im 19 almost 20(next month) and the things that you are tlaking baout remind so much of what some of the dads of the girls that I dated must have been thinking.

So if I showed up at the door with my truck that is obviously fixed up and you can hear the cam in it(note not a fart cannon mobile) in nice jeans and well groomed(im the stereotypical clean cut kind of kid) and had manners(yes sir no sir) what would ou think of me? Seriously, Im just wondering what was going through the heads of the fathers of the girls I dated.

 

if i called a girls dad "sir," they would think I was being a wise *** in the north.

I found the best thing to do is to actally talk to them, look at them when you speak and dont be afraid of them. Parents sense fear. If you dont talk, they assume you're hiding something.