or the better one.... ( i need to write a book with pappydan)

one night, it was freshmen initiations for the baseball team. we are at the house where the shin dig is goin down. We get the freshman drunk and start shavin designs in their head and make them wear dresses to the club.
we go to the club and make them look rediculous (but every girl there knows y they are there and is all over them.... happens every year) n e ways.... we leave and go back to the party house.
one of the seniors (remember, one of the leaders of this team) decides to get a rollin computer chair and take it to the road while another SR. brings his truck around to meet him.
now imagine this if ur a cop..... driving down this road and seeing a truck stoped a quater of a mile away and u keep drivin towards them..... then the truck starts to roll. as u pass this truck up u see a guy, in his underwear, holding on to the trailer hitch ball while sittin in this computer chair doing easily over 30mph. as u stop to turn and look, u grab ur radio and call for backup, little do u know ur back up was right behind u. As you turn to look tho u see the front wheel of this computer chair fly off like a button on a fat girls shirt! and the guy in the chair flys over the corner of the bed of the truck and lands Smack dab on the hood of your back up
the next morning our coach ask the team what happened (he was very pissed being called at 4 in the morning) so the two sr told him. he gave them a good *** chewin.

next day at practice inbetween innings (fall intersquad games) the coach makes them, the 2 seniors, two chug 4 beers (repeated everytime they came in the dugout) before taking the field for defense.....They were both pitchers. they didn't make it out the 2nd inning.

 

pappy... got n e more stories. need **** to read and me and u are the only ones in the rockin chair tellin stories

 

last one..... i swear.

during the summer when i was maybe 7 or 8 i was playin on my back porch and got my finger slammed in the door. (how, i dunno) i scream F*#k at the top of my lil lungs and my mom heard it.
"what did u say young man?"
"nothing, nothing mom"
then she said the words i'm sure we have all hear...."wait till you dad gets home" hours pass and my being young totally forgot about the issue at hand and dad gets home. he goes in his room like everyday, changes, and talks to mom about the day. then he comes out side and says...
"Ryan, wanna work on the tree house today?" (we were building one)
"yeah!" i said
"ok, we are going to make a flag pole today.... go out to the woods and find a branch thats no bigger than ur thumb and both ends can touch without breaking"
i sped off into the woods.
2 hours later, after searching hi and low i found one and brought it back to him.
"look dad! i found one" i said
and he said calmly and collectly "run"
at that moment i knew.... i turn and take 3 maybe 4 steps and get caught on the back of my thigh and then lights out.
after a couple of mins in the unconcious world, i wake up and he is sittin right infront of me. he hit me one time on the back of the leg and i was DONE!
told me if i ever cuss infront of my mom again hes not going to stop after one.
next day my mom asked me how my leg was doin and i told her " u get the **** nocked out ur f*#kin leg and tell me how that **** feels"

 

My mom is a Minister and I said **** on the phone one time to her by accident when I was still in high school, it was not a fun evening to say the least. I'd rather my dad smack me around then have my mom do the whole crying guilt trip crap....

 

ur mom didn't beat u with a wooden spatchula did she?
mine did lol

 

No, but she had some crazy mental torture tricks, she left the *** kicking to my dad.

 

"you just wait for your dad to come home." ****! then he came home from work early, you knew you were fuckedhaha

Thankfully I grew up and me and my dad get along awesome now and drink beer together

 

dad used ax handles, shovels and other things he could swing REAL hard

 

not as cool as yalls stories but one time i took a girl on a date that i was takin to prom and i was havin a little fun so i took off out of a turn and the *** end passed me on the wrong damn side of the road! i ended up slidin through a front yard and hitin a pothole as i came back to the road which threw me on 2 wheels as i slid across the road. landed facing the wrong way and went to take off... had a flat and the people i slid into the yard of came out and watch me change it and talked to me about the truck. it was 2 days before i got my rims. didnt hurt anything but the girl never road with me again except to prom and back haha

 

I ran into a stop sign goofing off with my ex in the car... right after she told me to slow down.... shoulda listened.