sorta the same thing happened (happening) to my coworker. it seems like whenever the father wants to be a deadbeat the mother doesn't and when the father wants to be a part the mother wants him to be a deadbeat.

hang in there and do as the others have said.

my advice would be to sign up for some parenting classes. you will learn a lot and it will also show the courts that you are responsable. thats what the courts made my co worker do. they said seeing as he wasn't a big part of his daughters life (mother wouldn't let him be) that he might not know how to raise her.

CPR class might be another good one too.

 

Sux To Hear Bro,hope Everything Comes Along For You,do Not Get Too Depressed Cause I Kno It Sux.think Positive!!!good Luck Man.

 

I dont know a thing about being a parent or a similar situation but I would go with what Nick said. You need to keep your cool. Dont do anything illegally or anything that would create any slim doubt of you being a responsible father. Good luck brother and take care. It'll be just fine.

 

as hard as it is just let it be for now. I had a co-worker go through the same ordeal and his x had him arrested so many times that he left $5,000 with a close friend to get him out of jail in an emergency. His X even went as far as to say he was molesting his daughter during visitation. it broke the guy's heart but he had to walk away because the woman had bankrupt him. She was married to some rich guy so she hired the best lawyers he was in debt for$45,000 and just couldn't keep it up. I don't want to discourage you but sometimes a little bit of distance can go a long way. be very patient and very civil, and good luck.

 

i have been very nice thru this whole thing.....she asked for money when we first broke up and i couldnt help because i was in school, then when i finished in march i sent her msg's asking what she needed and she said "nothing". she thinks this is only her child and she will do this without me there. i want what is best for our daughter. i want her to have all opportunity in life and have both loving parents in her life. i have an AWESOME attorney, there is only one in town better and neither of us can afford him.
she makes 15k a year and has 3 years left in school if she decides to go back since she hasnt done much with school for the last 2 years, i make 70k a year and i am a paramedic with cpr, pediatric life support classes, and infant abuse and mortality training. plus she has been told by a counceler she needs counceling for what her dad did to her as a little girl (big fear he will do that to my daughter but thats another story)

i have records for EVERY call, text msg, or conversation (38pages worth) we have had since december including her telling me i dont know **** about an infant, and stuff like she will name her whatever she wants and doesnt give a **** what i think (which she did). i have records of her keeping me from seeing her now, and having me removed from the hospital to be able to leave me off of the birth cert.

oh, and the judge cares nothing about "momma has all the rights"
his opinion is whoever is better suited to being parent gets custody and whomever can provide the child with the best tools for life.

 

oh yeah, about 2 months ago i even paid the down payment so she could get a 4door car and get rid of her mustang

 

Honestly man, it sounds like your set. You've made all the precautions, now just let it play itself out. It's one of those things that's easier said than done, but it'll pay off in the end. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

 

stay calm man, if she gets all psycho u my end up with 100% custody. i wouldnt say to provoke it, but just be cool calm and collective and realize its gonna take time and be tough but in the end believe in our justice system and do the right things to support ur case. ur gonna be fine and so is ur daughter.

 

they cant file for back child support, at least not in CA... especially if you are NOT on the birth certificate... they can only get child support from when the court grants her a settlement (monthly amount).... now if you dont pay any of the court assigned child support, than yes, you will have to pay the back support.

if you hook up with some dumb bitch at a bar and she gets preggo and doesnt see you for 12 years, you do NOT have to pay back support... only when she files for it at the courts and you are contacted.

and dont be afraid, go to the courts, fathers, especially ones that care like you, are given a lot more respect and rights these days... it is much different than even 10+ years ago.

my sister was a social worker for california and this was one of her specialties... now she has her own practice - therapist...

get an attorney, there is someone out there who will do it pro bono... find a woman attorney - that will give you a huge advantage, and she will respect you for wanting to be in your daughters life so much more, and in court she will know just what to say about another woman, trust me!

woman attorney FTW!

good luck man...