Hey Chingon this one's for you!

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

 

HAH! Good ones...

 

BAD THING IS I CAN RELATE TO THESE

O WELL SCREW'EM IF THE DONT LIKE IT .
WAIT A MINUTE MAYBE THATS WHY I DONT GET INVITED TO PARTIES ANYMORE

 

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of
>bottles of Bud.
>
>The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
>police roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here
>beers!!"
>
>"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish
>drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our
>foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
>
>"What fer?", asked Bubba.
>
>"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
>
>Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the
>seat, and each put a label on their forehead.
>
>When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, "You boys been drinkin'?"
>
>
>"No SIR," Earl replied, "we're on the patch."

 

 

could alcahol have anything to do with why i sometimes seem to think it's fun to glide down stair cases on trash can lids??? damn that's fun.