> A housewife takes a lover during the
> day, while her husband is at work.
>
> Her 9 year old son was hiding in the
> closet.
>
> Her husband came home unexpectedly so
> she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has
> company.
>
> Boy: 'Dark in here.
>
> Man: 'Yes it is.'
>
> Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
>
> Man: 'That's nice.'
>
> Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
>
> Man: 'No, thanks.'
>
> Boy: My dad's outside.'
>
> Man: 'OK, how much?'
>
> Boy: '$250.'
>
> In the next few weeks, it happens again
> that the boy and the? mom's lover are in the closet
> together.
>
> Boy: 'Dark in here.'
>
> Man: 'Yes, it is.'
>
> Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
>
> Man: 'How much?'
>
> Boy: '$750.'
>
> Man: 'Fine.'
>
> A few days later, the father says to the
> boy, 'Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the
> baseball.'
>
> The boy says, 'I can't ! I sold them.'
>
> The father asks, 'How much did you sell
> them for?'
>
> The son says,'$1,000.'
>
> The father says, 'That's terrible to
> overcharge your friends like that. That is way more
> than those two things cost. I'm going to take you
> to confession.'
>
> They go to church and the father makes
> the little boy sit in the confession booth and
> closes the door.
>
> The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
>
> The priest says, 'Don't start that ****
> again.'






TOo lazy to remove all the >'s... haha

 

Ok here is another one.... Im bored btw




THE WEDDING TEST


I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend

and I had been dating for over a year, and so we

decided to get married. There was only one

little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful

younger sister.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

would regularly bend down when she was near

me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

near anyone else.


One day her "little" sister called and asked me to

come over to check the wedding invitations. She was

alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she

had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister.


Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.


She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go

up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned

and made a beeline straight to the front door. I

opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing

outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and

said, "We are very happy that you have passed our

little test. We couldn't ask for a better

man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."


And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

Dustin