#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder
than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car,
I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy
and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
Hawker is a personal friend of yours.
So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't. Sign here."

 

lol, #1

 

 

Oh man