Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug
of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is
almost instantly removed.



Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away



Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one
and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.



Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes
the fishes'eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.


Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a
wonderful inexpensive vibrator.



Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by
simply pissing in the sink.



Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a while,thus reducing the pressure in your veins.



Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep!

 

 

:d :d

 

I liked the one about pissin' in the sink. I thought only "I" did that.